Base of Badfics: Naruto Veangance Revelaitons
by madders10
Summary: Barf bags at the ready? Good! You'll need 'em for this review of Jake Tanner's fanfic, Naruto Veangance Revelaitons!


[Hi there, guys! MaD-squared here! This isn't my normal posting day, and, quite obviously, isn't The Prayer Warriors, but I felt this necessary. If you guys have read my other Base of Badfics story, you all know that I have subordinates running around doing stuff for me, and weapons with which I punish badfic authors' stupidity. Well, none of that will be happening in this fic. Why?

Because this author had crossed the line way, _way_ too many times. And yes, BelieverInChrist did cross the line. But I've seen his kind of jackassness before. A religious nut that somehow managed to find a computer. This guy, however… Well, I'll just let you see.

In other news, I'm gonna do two or three chapters at a time, simply because this story is so damn long. Also, I'll probably start on his two other stories now as well, as one is currently ongoing. So, without further ado… I give you the big kick-off; the first four chapters of this shit!

**ok so this is a stori u just wrlte by me.**

This… is a story… I just write… by… you? Correct me if I'm wrong. My stupidese is a bit rusty.

**its in NARUTO world **

Well, it _is_ in the Naruto section of Fanfiction, so I sure hope it is.

**so i hope u guys lik it ok.**

I won't, I'm sure.

**AN: thers no dudes fucking becuase tht is fucking gross.** **im not a fuckin yaio faggot hees.**

Ooh, I'm gonna hate you…

**NARUTO: venganse revelatipns**

**CHAPTER ONE:new power**

**it was five days after i left my home for the villafe of Konohagakure nd when i got there i met a girl who was realy hot her name was sakura**

So, let me introduce one of the saddest butcherings of a character ever. And this is coming from a Sakura hater.

**i also met this her friends naruto sasuke and kakashi they called themselve team 7. anyway my name is ronan beelzub**.

Hello, Gary Stu!

**i a 13 years old**

Remember this, folks. It'll be necessary later.

**and have just come to the town. i am 6" tall and hav dark blue hair dat looks like justin beibers hiar**

Oh joy. A Beliber.

**(i dont liek him tho**

Or not. Never mind then.

**FUCK HIM HE SUCKS ALL MODERN MUSIC FUCKING SUCKS).**

Hey! Not all modern music sucks! Emilie Autumn, One-eyed Doll, Linkin Park… I could go on.

**i am very muscula r and have 28' around biceps**

I call bullshit.

**and hiuge pecx**

Bullshit.

**and then i also have a huge dick its almost 2 fet long**

Holy _shit, _that's not natural. Also, _bull-freaking-shit_.

**and realy fat plus i cum a lot ok).**

Lovely. Totally needed to know that.

**i was realy ecited about moving to a new town becaus se i wuld finaly have sum new pusy to fuck**

Thirteen years old, people. _Thirteen. _

**havin hav sex with all da otter girls in my old town.**

Oh look! Bestiality!

…Sadly, this is one of the lesser forms of abomination that this story presents.

**since i was yu ng i knew i was specal**

Of course you are, dear. Do you ride the short bus to school?

**becuae i could shot dark blu tlight outta my hands.**

That sounds dangerous.

**it blew holes in stuff**

I can imagine.

**and was realy powerful, but i didnt show anybody it becauz i was afraid dey wouldnt understand it and because i.**

Because you what? This is why you need to edit stories!

**the new ton was so diffent because it was japan**

Does Japan even exist in the Naruto Universe?

**and im not japanese im american**

Does America exist in the Naruto Universe? Is this an AU!? SPECIFY!

**and hapan is different from america**

Oh look, he's a genius.

**tho this wasnt realy japan it was one of the shinobi natons.**

MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DAMN YOU!

**but i was so cool becauze the girl all sexy and shit and i wanted to fuck them and their dripping wet pussies.**

Thirteen, fellow readers. Thirteen.

**i waz wuring a realy big black cloak and den had a red shoe**

Just one?

**on and then a bigchain on my neck and around my waist **

That sounds rather uncomfortable.

**and also had a headband (LIKE THE ONE IN THE SHOW EXCEPT MINE GLOWS BLUE AROUND IT ND HAs knives in it).**

What'd you do, dip it in uranium?

**when i got out of our hummer sakura and her friends were shocked to see me**

With muscles your size, I'm pretty sure anyone would be surprised, or maybe even wet themselves.

**becauz of the headband they were like "omg i cant believe this u must be one of us.**

Nope. He's worse.

**we have a lot to tell you so please cum on the temple over thar and we can do it".**

That sounds wrong. Like, that entire sentence. Whether or not this is intentional is up for debate.

I doubt that, though. He's not smart enough.

**then my headband gowed and tey all gasped "how is this possible i can sense u have much powr 2 show us so cum over to that temple and i will show you everything including our"**

Our what? FINISH YOUR SENTANCES!

**she said. then i took of my headband the knives grew out and they said "u r very special and have powers greater than our own**

"Through the power of the Stu, you are great."

**wen u com to the temple ova ther we will be strong and then a huge SNAKE FELL FROM THE BLACK sky IT WaS OCHIMURA!**

Yay! Orochimaru will save us from the terror of the Stu! (I'm all for the theory that Orochimaru is the real, tragic, hero in this story)

**They told me2 s tand back becus i cldnt not handke this**

See? They're smart!

**so they fught as hard as they guld using their ninja powers but one by one they were deafeted. first sasuke**

I highly doubt Sasuke would go down before Sakura.

**then kakashi**

Yeah, uh, no. He is a Jonin (highest level of ninja). If he were to be defeated by Oro-Snake, it would _defiantly _not be before Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. Who are Genin at this point in time (the lowest rank).

**then naruto and then sakura.**

Sakura would not be taken down last. Ever.

**when he had sakura i shouted "let HER GO YOIU MONSTER."**

_*Waves flag that reads 'Go Oro!'*_

**allf of a sudden my eyes turned blue**

This statement would have more effect if we were told what color they originally were.

**and i began to float my powers were taking hold of me and they were all shocked. i grew 10 feet taller**

Calm down there, Goliath. No need to bust a vain.

**and began to fighrt orichimaura as best i could saving sakura**

Aw! No fair! I call hacks!

**and blasting him with hot beams of blue light.**

Pfft. He's fine.

**sakura fell and i caught her by saving her**

And I wrote this by writing it. Yay me!

**and orcimaru felt to te ground badly heart**

What, did his high school sweetheart reject him? Or is his heart badly wounded?

**and then i waved my hands with blue light shooting out and he was lifted up and thrown and hurt badly. **

Over powered Gary Stu is over powered!

**i flew over to him and roared at him**

What're you, a lion?

**he was scared. **

Bitch, please.

**everybody else was amazing**

Compared to you? Yes.

**i did this and he was too but he said "u are not as powerugfukl as you think i will be back youl see and ull die"**

Bye Oro! Come back soon!

**amd then he vanished!1! right after he fvainehs i fell down 2 the ground and shrunk back to regular size all my human stength had been drained and i ached. sakura ran to my side saying "you are more powerful than all of us combined.**

Bull.

**u are the chosen 1 to defeat orochimaru.**

_*Waves flag more*_

**thank u for saving my life then she kissed me and rubbed my crotch**

THIS IS A PEDA-NO-NO!

KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!

**saying "you are very big **

…Ugh.

**now lets go to the temple and u can heel then we can talk about u"**

You can tell this is going to be a perfectly healthy relationship.

**they all carried me back 2 the temple and i blaked out as we enetered**

**OK THATS THE FIRST CHAPTER**

That felt exceedingly long. And I'm not even done yet.

**I REALY WANT AT LEAST 2 REVIEWS UNTIL I PU BLISH THE SECOND CHAPTER,**

I wish you luck.

**I NEED 2 NOW PPL R READIN MY STORY. I KNOW ITS kind of different**

No. Really.

**and darkier than usual **

I'm torn about whether or not I should yell at him for this.

**but please give me a chance**

Fuck you.

**its going to get so much awesome.**

Not really.

**AEVRRY NARUTO FAN WILL LOV THIS.**

I beg to differ.

**IF YOU LUV NARUTO WRITE A REVIEW PK PLEASE.**

Does this count?

**ok im really mad**

Oh, what a coincidence. So am I.

**cuz i didnt get more den 1 review for the first chapter**

I wonder why.

**so I hope this is different because its good**

Spoiler; It's not.

**and youl like it**

Nope.

**or if not FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS**

Maturity abounds.

**Chatprt 2: RONAN AWAKES**

**after da bog battle i was very tried and hurt so everybody helped me,**

Lucky you. If it was me, I'd have left you to bleed out.

**even tho i wus more powerful then theme**

Lies. Evil, _evil _lies.

**so now i was hurt and had blaked out after the fight with ochimura. when i woke up it was the next day and everty body was glad 2 c me bacj. **

I'm not.

**sakura and i then began 2 hav sex**

While you're severely hurt? Also, Sex Scenes: 1.

**when i saw her cunt leaking juice onto the floor.**

Honey, even _I_ know it shouldn't be _that wet_. And I'm a teenager who hasn't had sex yet.

**i virgously fucked her hot tight and steamy pussy tho she almost couldnt handle it du to my giant fucking huge dick. **

…I can imagine.

**it was so big it went into her organs**

Um… Hey, buddy? Those screams she's making? They aren't from pleasure, man, if you're in her organs…

**tho she didnt get hurt except for a bit.**

Uh-huh. Sure.

**as my penis went back and forth inside her vagina we both bagn to moan in pleasur sexily. i waz ready to cum when she said "pul out big boy' so i did and then cumed on her face the hot load of cum was so big that it complete drenche d her and made her hair really wet and sticky so she then started licking and sucking on her hair and sucked on my cock at the same time **

…How? Nope, wait. I really don't want to know.

**but this time she swallowed me and she got ful on my yum cum (rimed lol!).**

Go home, Dr. Seuss, you're drunk.

**later she showde me the temple and doho and stuff and it was really cool.**

What, that's it?! Oh, come on!

**it was suny outside. i saw the other guys practicing tho i was egear to se e sakura practic her hot and lushus moves.**

'Luscious'? Really?

**i new it would be senshual and sexu. her sweaty and heaving body kicked and bound and leaped and when she was all done and hot she rubbed her butt up against my huge cock and acidently let out a fart. "excuse me haha. accident' but i liked it so i asked her to do it again it was incredibly hot**

What the hell is wrong with this guy?!

**and i knew i wanted to fuck her ass next.**

Necessary information.

**we went into da dojo and fuked**

Sex Scenes: 2

**it was noghtime and the suoon was out now because it was night.**

…What was out?

**i ramed my dick into her ass and she took it like a fucking bitch.**

Oh. Lovely. _*Groans*_

**i yotally dominated her.**

Unless you're into S&M, that shouldn't be what's happening.

**then we we wur fucking Orochimaru came**

Yay! Oro's back! Hey buddy! Long time no see! How're the kids?

**and yelled and then kidnaped SAKURA1!**

Good.

**I YELLED NO!**

I YELLED YES!

**but he was gun i knew i had to get her back so i asked the other guys to help me even tho they were really weak compard to me.**

Wrong.

**little did dey no that depe inside me laid the powerful spirit of a ancient creature**

Ah, yes. The power of the Stu is ancient indeed.

**and it was about to take over when i saved sakura...**

Spoiler alert, he saves her.

**k so that was the secund chapert**

So it was.

**i hope it was god**

Fortunately for humanity, no. It isn't God.

**please right more reviws i nrealy ned them because they are good but dont flame please fucking dont flam fuckers.**

Heh. Fat chance.

Only… two more chapter, guys. *Cries*

**Authurs Note: GOD WTF u motherfuking alsohs ok duck u.**

…Come again?

**justf uck you. I DONT NEED 2 CHANGE MY SPELING ITS GOOD**

No. No it is not.

**BESIdes wtf d u guya kno!**

A hell of a lot more than you, obviously.

**this is a gr8 story **

Haha, you wish!

**so just shut the fuk up and READ it u bitchcunties!**

What does it look like I'm doing, you dunce?

**Chapter 3: journey 2 sakura**

**it was nightime and me and sasuke and were angry and hungry we wanted 2 find sasuke**

Is it even worth trying to figure what this means?

**so we tried but couldt.**

Tragic.

**as we kept looking we decided it was time to realy set out into the shinobi nations becus we had no idea were orishimura had taken her 2.**

Anywhere without you is good enough for me.

**i just hoped he wasnt dead because i loved her.**

If you love her, I'm a kangaroo.

**we went across da world lookin for her**

Wouldn't that take a long time? I mean, by the time you reached her, she would've started a new life with Oro, and long forgotten you.

**and we camped and stuff. **

Ooh. Descriptive.

**the first nit was rhard because we werent used 2 eachoter so ok.**

Not caring… Not caring…

**"hey wtf are u doing RONAN?"**

Why the caps lock?

**said sasuke when he saw me suking my own cock**

I… guess that'd be my reaction to. What the fuck, Ronan!?

**while jaking ogg 2 a pic of sakura.**

…Ugh…

**"Wat does oit look like 2 u fuker?"**

Not child-safe? Not safe for work? Take your pick, buddy.

**i culd c he was jealus of me **

Nope. Ten bucks he's the opposite of that right now.

**alot becuz his penis was small**

How would you know?

**and so was narutos and kakshi**

Again, how the hell would you know this?

**dey tidnt have a giant fuckin cock like me **

Good. They don't kill their sex partners.

**and then i blasted a blew light at hgim and he went flyin away**

Well that was rude.

**so i was left alone to continue sukin my huge dick and then i cumed allover sakuras hot picture where hur peussy was soakung wet and her tits were hung like double L Cup .**

Just sayin', those are probably fake, or cause her loads of pain…

**they were so big they hurt her back**

See? It's not as fun you think!

**and slaped back and forth when she walked**

They shouldn't if she's wearing a decent bra.

**and she loved it when i stuck my cock in there because it was hot and big enuff for her giant fucking tits. she loved milking them and giing me the milk**

Uh… Female humans only produce milk when they are pregnant or have given birth recently…

**AHHHHHH I was cummung it was so good i missed sasuke**

Then why'd you blow him away?

**i had ti find her that hot fuking gassy slut**

…Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

**MEANWILE IN OROCIMURAS LAYAR**

Hi Oro! How're you doing?

**HAHSAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I GOT U U FUCKING SLUT NOBODY WILL GET U BAC AESPCIALY NOT RONAN U R MINE FOREVER HAHAHAHAHHASGHDDHDHDH!11!**

Oh the terror.

**but den sakura scramed and siad PLEASE OMG RONAN PLEASE OMG HELP ME AHHH GOD WHY HELP NOW PLEASE!**

That was rather pointless.

**i culd tell she was in disstress**

Spidey senses?

**when she lyeeld**

…Translation?

**and i knew we wur close so i got sasuke kakashi and naruto to get the fuck up aso we could all go save her. shes a girl**

So?

**so i know how scary orhcimura must beand**

I'm a girl; I'm not scared of him.

**how much shed need saving.**

Does she _look_ helpless?! In the anime, she kicked ass (as much as it pains me to say that)!

**i started 2 gwt a huge fucking hard on when i reaized she must be realy hot and sweaty and be wearin riped close in oriahcimauras cave**

Your lover is in danger, and you are getting a boner because of it. Yeah, fuck you too.

**god its so fuing hot **

Uh, no it's not. You need help.

**i burst my huge nut right there anyway we kept runing and runing and den fell cuz we were in orhcoaimuras cave !**

*gets flag ready*

**I YOU KNOW HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!111!**

… Does… Anyone know what the hell that says?

**UELLED PROCIMAUR NOW I WILL KILL U ALL AND I KEW HE WAST LYING BECAUSE HE WAS EVIL AND HE YELLED**

BECAUSE YELLING MAKES EVERYTHING TRUE.

YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. See? It's true!

**I AM GOING TO HAHAHAHHAA! he ce[t ;aigjomg**

I seriously think he just slammed his face on the keyboard.

**sadistically aBUT THEN**

**A huge blue burst came out of me **

Ouch.

**and it was my powderful spirit that lurkt deep inside me**

I call bullshit!

**it was A GIANT BLUE FLAMED DRAGAON**

I thought you said it was a blade…?

**AND IT BLEW BLUE FIRE IT LOOKED KINDA LIKE BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON FROM YUGIOH **

Stellar description, dear.

**and it flew over to orochimuatr and our fiht BEGAN!**

I'm just dying of excitement.

**ok so dats da end of chaptah 3**

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

**i know is pretty dark and scray**

Bitch please. Compared to the stuff I usually read, this shit's fucking kid's show material. Only more perverted. Much, _much _more perverted.

**but i promise its gonna get even more awesome.**

Doubtful.

**hard 2 imagine i kno right lol.**

Oh look, he's actually right about something!

**BUT PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE OR ELSE I AM GO !**

Again, does this count?

**Autors note: hey FCKING FLAMERS. **

Hi!

**you dONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT**

I beg to differ, bitch.

**I SAW ALL YOU GUYS REVIEW ME TODAY AND IT REALLY PISSED ME THE FUCK OF FUCKERS.**

Good.

**SO NOW IM GONA SHOW U GUYS HOW RAWESME MY STORY CAN BE FUCKERS.**

I doubt it.

**I BET MOST OF U ASSHOLES DONT EVEN FUCKING LIKE ANIME.**

I love anime! (By the way, if this douche touches Hetalia…)

**WELL GUESS WHAT FUCK U! WESTERN NIMEATION FUKING SUCKS COCK! **

…Harsh. Not all of it sucks. Not all anime is good, either.

**ANIME IS BETTER AND ALWAYS WILL B U FUKING ASSHOLES!**

*sighs*

**ITS GOT BETER QUALITY AND STORY AND ITS NOT FOR BABIES LIKE AMERICA ANIMETD SHOW **

… Is there any point to arguing?

**AND BET U LOSERS LIKE FUKING LADY GAG OR SYM MODERN POP SHIT LIKE HRE! **

What's wrong with Lady Gaga?

Also, HRE = Holy Roman Empire. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

**FUCK YOU FUCKERS! NARUTO FUCING ROCKS! **

Eh. It's alright.

**WHO THE FYUCK IS TARA?**

Pfft.

**ARE YOU CALLING ME A FUCKING PUSSY GIRL?**

Well…

**FUYCK OGGGG! I AM A 13 YEAR OLD BOY **

… What the hell are your parents doing!?

**THAT MEANS I AM MATURE**

Right. Sure. Isn't it past your bedtime?

**UNLIK U LITTLE BABIES HAHAHA FUCKING FAGS!**

I'm older than you.

**anywya so im gonna contiue my story now.**

Aw…

**all u FANS (I FUCKING HAVE THEM FUCKERS)**

Nope~

**can keep on readin and lovin it and all u girls get ur pussies drippin wet!**

Uh… No, I'm not turned on at all.

**GUYS CAN GTFO I DONT WANT NO DUDE JAKCING OFF TO MY STORU**

Why?

**(EXCEPT ME HAHAHA)**

…YOU. ARE. THIRTEEN!

**THATS UKING GROSS.**

You're worse, believe me.

**OK SO HERes the story again its awesome PROSMIE!**

Doubt~ful

**Chpter: 4. Battle with OROCIHIMARU**

**WAM DIE ORCHIMAUR!**

Go, Oro, go!

**and he fell down as my dragon spirit roared and spit at hom. he was hurt but he didnt kno want 2 do so he left.**

Bye, Oro!

**"thats right FUCK U PUSSY U RUN LIKE A BBY GIRLIE!"**

Ooh, what an insult.

**i we left da cave i curried sakura in my big mscular arms and she was fainted but i could feel her cunt dripping wet**

BUUUUULLSHIT!

**it was like a huyrrican up in her pussy fuck yeah.**

That, my dear, is a very bad metaphor.

**this bitch can fuk good.**

Our hero, folks.

**i took her back to the temple and sauke nartuo and kakshi left while i stayed with sakura **

Don't leave her with that sick fuck!

**she was fainted but her pussy was so wet i just had to fuck it so whiped out my gigantic cock and starting vigorisely fucking her cunt.**

OH MY GOD, NO! (Sex scenes: 3)

**it started 2 rip open and gaped**

Ouch…

**and it went depper bett den thecided to fuk her in her nice fucking ass so i turned her over and shoved my monster dick in her ass **

Lay off, man!

**and it went so far inside her even tho she was tight and it kept going and going and going **

What, is she a TARDIS?

**and the i had 2 cum so when i did it went all inter her stomnach and some of ut came out of her mouth nose and eyes.**

It… Doesn't work like that…

**because she had be fucked in thehe ass o much cum ozed out of her butt and she farted so loudly it woke her up.**

Oh, God, it burns! *holds eyes*

**"oops ahahaha. o hey ronan did u have fun? lol" "**

Not what you should be thinking about, Sakura!

**"oh yeah i did it was so sexy ur so tight and i loved fukin ur azz". "well i got something 4 u big boy she said hotly" **

Ugh, it gets worse…

**then she started 2 spray milk from her big tuts**

IT. DOESN'T. WORK. LIKE. THAT.

**and it soaked me so i was the wet one now lol anyway her milk was so good it tasted like her pusy misxes with vannila and strawberries**

*Shudders*

**"mm so good baby" i said "yeah well jaronan**

Oh, so it's a self insert fic as well! Lovely.

**ur cum tastz even better. wann try?" "WTF HELL CUNTING BITCH! WHAT D OU THINK I AM I AM NOT A FAG I DONT WANT 2 TASTE MY OWN FUKING CUM WTF!" **

Woah, calm down buddy! She didn't mean anything!

**"ronan please im SORRY I DIDNT MEAN 2 UPSET U PLEASE DONT GO U DONT HAVE TO EAT UR CUM U CAN EAT SUM OF MINE MIXED WITH MY MILK ITS GOOD PLEASE NOOOO!"** **but i was already gone **

Wow. Asshat.

**and sakura was crying histerucally. she needed me but i idnt really need her but i missed her dripping cunt and how god it is and she mised my cock and muyscles and sexy fucking face.**

Christ, what an asshole!

**she needs a man**

No, she needs not you.

**because without me shes noting and noone.**

Vice versa, actually.

**I ran to the top of a hiull and yelled "SAKURA FUCK U BITCH I LOVE YOU!"**

Bipolar, much?

**and should could hear from the temple me yelling but then she fell asleep and woke up and was sick. she went 2 da bathroom and used a mystical japanese pregnacy tests **

Excuse me, she used _what? _

**and she fouND OUT SHE WAS PREGNAT.**

Well then.

**dats da end of chapter 4 its getting really good aint it?**

Nope.

**haha. but seriosly i need more reviews not FLAMES.**

Sorry, no can do.

**HAHA THATS FUNNY FLAMES CUZ THATS WAT U GUYS AR FLAMING FAFS**

…I don't get it.

**HAHAHAHA FUCK U GUYS SO MY SPELLING MAY NOT BE GR8 BUT THIS IS AN AMAZING STORY AND THE SEX IS SAWESOME**

Nope.

**AND UR JUST JEALOUS OF ME BECAUSE I GET PUSSY ND U DONT**

Hm… Nope, not jealous.

**FUCK OFF GOD WHY DO U PEOPLE DO THIS!**

Because reasons.

**nyway so yeah SAKYRA is regnant wats gonn happen next read and find out because its crazy and thers gonna be soke really sexy stuff and sme scary stuff 2!**

Oh joy.

**OH A SHOUT 2 KATIE 2! LOVE U BABY! gives me da punandey dat sexy bitch lol.**

Don't hate her yet, guys! She's pretty awesome!

Yeah, that's that. I'll update soon!


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